Day of Infamy, and more Infamy

Pearl Harbor, was just like 9/11, claims Gino (on a few occasions) because we were caught "flat-footed" in a surprise attack. No one saw it coming. Yep, it's not like FDR was given a briefing that said "Tojo determined to attack American fleet anchored somewhere in the Pacific" and then he told the guy "All right. You've covered your ass, now."

Moving on to, what else, teh Gays, Gino claims the "law of political correctness" and the amazingly powerful Gay lobby trumps the Massachusetts Constitution, and the legislators are all terrified of the political power of a vocal minority that dominate the liberal press.

Pat in Sandwich calls to say "thanks WXTK for being the voice of the people", "the gays have an agenda, the have a manifesto they started in 1972, that include some 40 items, targeting kids in schools, they want to force the acceptance of gay marriage and homosexual behavior as normal, they want to repeal federal and state laws governing male and female prostitution, repeal the laws governing the age of consent, and relax the laws regarding polygamy"....Ed says "absolutely", he appreciates the call and the info but they had to move on.

Jumpin' Jezzuz on a Pogo-stick Ed, can't you get even more bat-shit crazy and promise to reveal the other 30 or so points of this "manifesto"? After the Mattress and Hearing Aid commercials?

BTW, why are Mattress and Hearing Aid commercials the most heavily aired advertisements during Eddies show? I can't say for certain, but it does kind of give you a mental image of just who the core audience must really be.

Ah, well onto the just published report from the Iraq Study Group (ISG). There can't be enough mocking and sarcasm about the report from these two, a solid 5 minutes..."Don't bother reading it" sez Gino, Ed belittles the people on the commission "real bi-partisan kinda guy, 'statesman' Leo Paneta? Gimme a break". "Is anybody gonna go out and read this thing? Is there anything you don't already know?"

Uh oh, we have a problem now; fresh off rehearsal in the parking lot, Gino is being an apostate by saying that the job of our military is to go in, conquer, and leave, and Ed is saying no, we have to stay in and leave, maybe 40, 50 years from now, to "fight for FREEDOM!".

still listening to the tape on this one, this post to be completed later.

What's in a Name?

Ed is still struggling to come up with nickname for Governor-elect Deval Patrick. During the election, Ed would chuckle to himself as he called him "Devoid". Ed must have been real popular on the playground as a kid. Lately he's been calling Deval Patrick "Molasses", I suppose because if he kept referring to the Governor-elect as "Brown Sugar" it might make Ed sound racist. I don't know why Ed should feel so inhibited, it's generally acknowledged that he is.

Today he's trying out "Free 'em All Deval", in an attempt to raise the racist Willie Hortonesque specter of the new Governor freeing convicted criminals. The election is long over, but Ed can't stop fearing and smearing.

According to Ed, Hillary Clinton "had three extra-marital affairs", "...she is a socialist, she is a control freak, and she is a giant B-I-T-...", a caller chides Ed for his misogyny, Ed will have none of it, he shouts "That's what she is, Hillary is a giant B". The next caller twice refers to Senator Clinton as a "femminazi", and says Al Gore is fat. Oh, and he signs off with "Merry Christmas", you know, because these are such good Christian type people.

Mistakes Were Made

Though I was a little to busy to listen to much of the show, quite a bit a time was spent by Constitutional scholar Gino complaining about desegregation. It's unfair that kids should have to get up two hours earlier to take a bus to a school that is lousier than one nearby.
Ed sez "Everyone pretty much knows that desegregation (in Boston) was a mistake." I'd love to put some context to that quote, but unfortunately Ed never offered any.

Tomorrow: Ed takes on the Emancipation Proclamation.

Do You Want the Terrorists to Win?

Well? Do you?

Party Time

According to, and apparently exclusively to the Boston Herald, Governor-elect Deval Patrick is planning a week long "coronation" party before his inauguration, which reportedly could cost up to $1.6 million. Ed Lambert quotes Patrick as saying "Spare no expense, across the state we will have elaborate week long coronation plans for me, so I can get out to my sup...all the people out there, but it will be privately funded, a blowout". A completely fabricated quote, nowhere to be found. Ed calls him "Deval 'I Want to be President' Patrick"...not a terribly catchy nickname, Ed's still working on that.

Ed is such a liar. The Herald article notes the Governor Romney's inaugural festivities cost $750 k, Ed says "Romney's cost sev...se...er, uh...a quarter of a million dollars". Ed rants it's all a quid pro quo, everyone donating is going to be getting special favors. He doesn't mention that Patrick had the least corporate donations, and spent less on his campaign than any of the other Gubernatorial candidates.

More lies from Ed: "38% of the Democrats think Hillary Rodham Clinton should be President for FOUR terms, not two."

Somewhere, beyond the sea...

...almost halfway across the world to the Peking Duck in Taipei to peek at a Frank Rich op-ed (word doc.) but Rich is always worth it.

License to Lie

Ed is outraged that the president of the American Legion, a stateside based Vietnam Era vet, has been misrepresenting himself as a Vietnam War vet. Very few phone calls on this topic, not any from the disagreeable straw men residing in Ed’s festering brain that, according to Ed, say “Just leave the guy alone, let him keep his job, you’re making a big deal out of nothing”.

Floundering and out of gas, it was time to move on, yet again, to those nasty brown people:

Outgoing lame duck Massachusetts Governor and Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney tries to improve his cred with the national wingnuts by directing the creation of a special set of the Massachusetts State Police who will be trained so that they can arrest people suspected of being illegal immigrants, should they encounter them in relation to some other incident such as a traffic stop.

In the middle of his rant, Ed claims that some Massachusetts cities and towns want to give illegal immigrants the right to vote. These must be those mythical cities and towns that exist only in the dank, dark crevices of Ed's cerebrum. Ed also repeatedly insists that Governor-elect Deval Patrick wants to “give illegal aliens driver’s licenses” (presumably whether they want them or not).

One caller says “it's about time” for Romney's action because these illegal immigrants are “tearing down our American morals, our American traditions, and taking our heritage away from us” and Ed concurs “I agree with you one hundred percent”. This is so nutty on too many levels to even begin to address. What American traditions are they tearing down? Columbus Day? St. Patricks Day?

Another caller complains “you can pretty much drive down the street and see them (illegal immigrants) all doing their little thing and you can’t do anything about it”. Apparently this guy has a very special pair of glasses that he wears while driving around that enables him to discern which brown people are legal and which ones aren’t, while they're "all doing their little thing", whatever that might be...? A dance? An animal sacrifice? Who knows.

Dave calls and suggests they create an internment camp out on the local airbase for these people. Dave also claims that while on the ferry to Nantucket he saw about 44 Mexicans and “only one of them spoke any English” (just imagine, he actually queried every single one of them). Ed agrees with Dave that it’s unfortunate that someone in authority can’t be waiting on the dock to check their papers when they arrive. Yeah, that’s a genius idea; Nantucket's largest single source of revenue, the tourists, would find that very entertaining, especially the foreign ones, and the "foreign looking" ones.

Ed agrees with caller Jim that something like Romney's directive should apply to the local town police as well. Jim claims that over 3000 robberies and murders a day are committed by illegal immigrants. Ed believes it. This kind of nonsense has already been debunked, among other places, here.

Why this directive of Romney’s won't work: Granny O'Reilly, naturalized Irish American citizen, gets pulled over for "failure to yield" by a State Trooper, and, whoopsie, she also left her purse at home with her driver’s license in it. She gets two citations, one for failure to yield, one for not having a license in her possession, and she’s allowed to drive her merry way home, crying about the cost of her tickets and the jump in her insurance premiums. This happens, infrequently, but certainly not rarely. Sean, an Irish illegal immigrant (still here many years after his student or work visa expired) commits the same traffic misdemeanors, the Trooper believes Sean's story about how he must’ve left his wallet in the work pants he just changed back at home, he gets two citations as well. An hour later, Sean gets in an accident and injures another driver, the State Police investigation reveals records that he was pulled over only an hour earlier. Juan gets pulled over, he is a naturalized citizen (or on a student or work visa) and unlike Sean, he actually did leave his wallet in his other pants, but the Trooper isn’t buying Juan’s story. It’s off to jail for Juan until this is all straightened out and, with the help of a competent attorney, that traffic stop will cost the Commonwealth of Massachusetts millions of dollars in a civil rights lawsuit. At least we won't have to worry about Juan not being able to pay for his own healthcare.

The point is, if you want to avoid civil rights lawsuits, it doesn't do any good to leave it up to the discretion of the Trooper to guess whether someone is in this country legally. If you have the misfortune of not having your ID in your possession, then the Trooper ought to err on the side of caution and arrest you, even if you don't have an accent or "look like" an illegal immigrant. Romney knew that, that's why he never had the guts to impliment such a lame-brained scheme until he was on his way out the door.

You Can't Fix Stupid...

...unless you mean by "fixing" you intend to get even stupider:

There are two staple topics of morning hate radio, Gays and Foreigners, and the boys at WXTK are trained harp on them especially whenever recent news events reflect badly on Republicans. This is a tried and true way to get the mouth breathing true-believers lathered up and calling in to complain about immeasurable abstract concepts of “moral fiber” and “cultural decline”. Our country is going to hell in a hand basket, they claim, and the Democrats are to blame because they cater to these immoral and un-American minorities. What evil geniuses these Democrats must be! Somehow they get elected by lots of people (a majority, presumably…at least I think that’s how elections work) and then they immediately punish their constituency by giving “special rights” to a tiny sliver of the populace and shower the least deserving of them with money to boot! “Suckers!” as former Ed Lambert sidekick Don McKeag would screech, along with his other favorite tag line “You can’t fix Stupid!”

Well, maybe you can't, but maybe you can improve on Stupid by getting even Stupider with returning sidekick Gino Montesi.

After a completely vacuous rant about how a federal court botched a constitutional ruling (Gino was an astronomy major in college, so he oughta know), things were getting a little to slow...nobody was calling, so it was time for the boys to complain yet again about non-english speaking people. The senile shut-in biddy who calls herself “Lady C” calls in for the 9th time in 5 months to tell the story of how her mom was from Sweden but she grew up learning English, not Swedish…Ed acts as if he’s hearing her story for the first time. What a saint.

Gino complains that he doesn’t want to use the phone to call someplace that uses a recorded menu system and have even more options on languages…I kid you not…Gino says “…I don’t want to hear ‘press 9 for Guatemalan’”

After all, Gino speaks “American”. And just what the hell kind of name is “Gino” anyway? Can’t the guy just assimilate already and pick an American name?