Showing posts with label WXTK. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WXTK. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
What's in a Name?
Ed is still struggling to come up with nickname for Governor-elect Deval Patrick. During the election, Ed would chuckle to himself as he called him "Devoid". Ed must have been real popular on the playground as a kid. Lately he's been calling Deval Patrick "Molasses", I suppose because if he kept referring to the Governor-elect as "Brown Sugar" it might make Ed sound racist. I don't know why Ed should feel so inhibited, it's generally acknowledged that he is.
Today he's trying out "Free 'em All Deval", in an attempt to raise the racist Willie Hortonesque specter of the new Governor freeing convicted criminals. The election is long over, but Ed can't stop fearing and smearing.
According to Ed, Hillary Clinton "had three extra-marital affairs", "...she is a socialist, she is a control freak, and she is a giant B-I-T-...", a caller chides Ed for his misogyny, Ed will have none of it, he shouts "That's what she is, Hillary is a giant B". The next caller twice refers to Senator Clinton as a "femminazi", and says Al Gore is fat. Oh, and he signs off with "Merry Christmas", you know, because these are such good Christian type people.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
You Can't Fix Stupid...
...unless you mean by "fixing" you intend to get even stupider:
There are two staple topics of morning hate radio, Gays and Foreigners, and the boys at WXTK are trained harp on them especially whenever recent news events reflect badly on Republicans. This is a tried and true way to get the mouth breathing true-believers lathered up and calling in to complain about immeasurable abstract concepts of “moral fiber” and “cultural decline”. Our country is going to hell in a hand basket, they claim, and the Democrats are to blame because they cater to these immoral and un-American minorities. What evil geniuses these Democrats must be! Somehow they get elected by lots of people (a majority, presumably…at least I think that’s how elections work) and then they immediately punish their constituency by giving “special rights” to a tiny sliver of the populace and shower the least deserving of them with money to boot! “Suckers!” as former Ed Lambert sidekick Don McKeag would screech, along with his other favorite tag line “You can’t fix Stupid!”
Well, maybe you can't, but maybe you can improve on Stupid by getting even Stupider with returning sidekick Gino Montesi.
After a completely vacuous rant about how a federal court botched a constitutional ruling (Gino was an astronomy major in college, so he oughta know), things were getting a little to slow...nobody was calling, so it was time for the boys to complain yet again about non-english speaking people. The senile shut-in biddy who calls herself “Lady C” calls in for the 9th time in 5 months to tell the story of how her mom was from Sweden but she grew up learning English, not Swedish…Ed acts as if he’s hearing her story for the first time. What a saint.
Gino complains that he doesn’t want to use the phone to call someplace that uses a recorded menu system and have even more options on languages…I kid you not…Gino says “…I don’t want to hear ‘press 9 for Guatemalan’”
After all, Gino speaks “American”. And just what the hell kind of name is “Gino” anyway? Can’t the guy just assimilate already and pick an American name?
There are two staple topics of morning hate radio, Gays and Foreigners, and the boys at WXTK are trained harp on them especially whenever recent news events reflect badly on Republicans. This is a tried and true way to get the mouth breathing true-believers lathered up and calling in to complain about immeasurable abstract concepts of “moral fiber” and “cultural decline”. Our country is going to hell in a hand basket, they claim, and the Democrats are to blame because they cater to these immoral and un-American minorities. What evil geniuses these Democrats must be! Somehow they get elected by lots of people (a majority, presumably…at least I think that’s how elections work) and then they immediately punish their constituency by giving “special rights” to a tiny sliver of the populace and shower the least deserving of them with money to boot! “Suckers!” as former Ed Lambert sidekick Don McKeag would screech, along with his other favorite tag line “You can’t fix Stupid!”
Well, maybe you can't, but maybe you can improve on Stupid by getting even Stupider with returning sidekick Gino Montesi.
After a completely vacuous rant about how a federal court botched a constitutional ruling (Gino was an astronomy major in college, so he oughta know), things were getting a little to slow...nobody was calling, so it was time for the boys to complain yet again about non-english speaking people. The senile shut-in biddy who calls herself “Lady C” calls in for the 9th time in 5 months to tell the story of how her mom was from Sweden but she grew up learning English, not Swedish…Ed acts as if he’s hearing her story for the first time. What a saint.
Gino complains that he doesn’t want to use the phone to call someplace that uses a recorded menu system and have even more options on languages…I kid you not…Gino says “…I don’t want to hear ‘press 9 for Guatemalan’”
After all, Gino speaks “American”. And just what the hell kind of name is “Gino” anyway? Can’t the guy just assimilate already and pick an American name?
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